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Releasing Shame & Guilt

To have your own family is a universal dream, and the thought of not being able to can make you and your spouse feel that something is wrong with you.

Learning that you have an infertility problem can lead to painful and difficult emotions. It involves rethinking many things you may have taken for granted: children and family life, genetic continuity, the experience of conception, pregnancy and birth, the meaning of your life plan and marriage, and your sexuality.

Many men and women face psychological challenges when faced with the inability to conceive a child. Currently, in the United States, infertility affects around 7.3 million men and women. Internal, societal and familial pressures to have biological children can have an adverse effect on one’s mental health. Society often fails to recognize the grief caused by infertility, which leads those struggling with infertility to hide their feelings. This only increases feelings of shame and isolation.

Confusion, frustration, fear, isolation, anger, sadness, hopelessness, guilt and shame are some of the most common feelings you may experience dealing with infertility.

In this crucial time, remind yourself that infertility is not your fault. Concentrate on the present and the future, and how you and your spouse are going to manage the current situation.

Infertility can bring many changes to your relationship as a couple. It may bond you closer together, as mutual support and understanding lead to greater sharing and intimacy. But it can also bring forth feelings of guilt and resentment, particularly if no resolution is in sight. Communicate fears and emotions to your spouse on a regular basis. Support one another but understand that at times it will be difficult to do this.

If you and your spouse feel strained and isolated from one another, you may want to consider counseling. This has proven a very successful resource for many couples, and you may find it helps you share a new level of mutual respect and understanding. Being a certified professional life coach and having gone through infertility myself, I understand infertility not only from a professional standpoint but also from a personal one. I provide one-on-one support and I am determined to help you cope as effectively as possible.

I'm on a mission to help empower women with infertility with life-changing emotional resilience, radical mindset shifts and perspective to help them conquer this journey feeling strong, confident and armed with the tools to help them help themselves.

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